"I Wish I Was A Fetus"

Here's an interesting poem that I came across:

I wish I was a fetus
I never would be bored,
Sitting in my uterus
Swingin' on my cord.

To worry the obstreticians
I'd be a proper beast,
I'd change position on the hour
-Transverse, oblique, then breech!

To student midwives, I'd present
A mystifying case
I'd hide myself in the os
& leave an empty space.

I'd tie my cord into a knot
& wave it through the cervix
I'd give the mid-wives such a shock
-& laugh off all my vernix!

And when my membranes rupture
I'd be a right ol' pest
Presenting large diameters
I'd transeversely arrest.

I'd tell my pal placenta
To get himself detached.
To theatre then the lot of us,
would pronto be despatched!

And when they start to Caesar
I'd laugh & think "Ti-Hi"
When no one else is looking,
I'd come vaginally!!

:) :)
-Unknown

PS: If you liked this, check out "Fetus-The Wonder Baby" . Its weird, but different. :)