"I Wish I Was A Fetus"

Here's an interesting poem that I came across:

I wish I was a fetus
I never would be bored,
Sitting in my uterus
Swingin' on my cord.

To worry the obstreticians
I'd be a proper beast,
I'd change position on the hour
-Transverse, oblique, then breech!

To student midwives, I'd present
A mystifying case
I'd hide myself in the os
& leave an empty space.

I'd tie my cord into a knot
& wave it through the cervix
I'd give the mid-wives such a shock
-& laugh off all my vernix!

And when my membranes rupture
I'd be a right ol' pest
Presenting large diameters
I'd transeversely arrest.

I'd tell my pal placenta
To get himself detached.
To theatre then the lot of us,
would pronto be despatched!

And when they start to Caesar
I'd laugh & think "Ti-Hi"
When no one else is looking,
I'd come vaginally!!

:) :)
-Unknown

PS: If you liked this, check out "Fetus-The Wonder Baby" . Its weird, but different. :)

Take Me To Your Heart : MLTR

Beautiful song by MLTR...
:) :)

Hiding from the rain and snow
Trying to forget but I won't let go
Looking at a crowded street
Listening to my own heart beat

So many people all around the world
Tell me where do I find someone like you girl

(Chorus)

Take me to your heart take me to your soul
Give me your hand before I'm old
Show me what love is - haven't got a clue
Show me that wonders can be true

They say nothing lasts forever
We're only here today
Love is now or never
Bring me far away

Take me to your heart take me to your soul
Give me your hand and hold me
Show me what love is - be my guiding star
It's easy take me to your heart

Standing on a mountain high
Looking at the moon through a clear blue sky
I should go and see some friends
But they don't really comprehend

Don't need too much talking without saying anything
All I need is someone who makes me wanna sing

(Chorus)

M is for Medicine :D

Some interesting Med-Quotes, that I came across. *Tho most of them are 'doc-bashers', take 'em with a pinch of salt...*

Enjoy!! :D :D

Don't think of organ donations as giving up part of yourself to keep a total stranger alive. It's really a total stranger giving up almost all of themselves to keep part of you alive. ~Author Unknown

Our profession is the only one which works unceasingly to annihilate itself. ~Martin H. Fischer

Men are not going to embrace eugenics. They are going to embrace the first likely, trim-figured girl with limpid eyes and flashing teeth who comes along, in spite of the fact that her germ plasm is probably reeking with hypertension, cancer, haemophilia, colour blindness, hay fever, epilepsy, and amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. ~Logan Clendening

The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. ~William Stewart Halsted

The public blabbers about preventative medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. ~Martin H. Fischer

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you, too. ~Anton Chekhov, Ivanov

The fact that your patient gets well does not prove that your diagnosis was correct. ~Samuel J. Meltzer

Patients may recover in spite of drugs or because of them. ~J.H. GaddumHe's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines. ~Benjamin Franklin

A drug is that substance which, when injected into a rat, will produce a scientific report. ~Author Unknown

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. ~French Proverb

You may know the intractability of a disease by its long list of remedies. ~Alonzo Clark

When you no longer know what headache, heartache, or stomachache means without cistern punctures, electrocardiograms and six x-ray plates, you are slipping. ~Martin H. Fischer

It is easy to get a thousand prescriptions but hard to get one single remedy. ~Chinese Proverb

Never forget that it is not a pneumonia, but a pneumonic man who is your patient. ~William Withey Gull

The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? ~Martin H. Fischer

Medicine is the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. ~James Bryce, 1914

Medicines heals doubts as well as diseases. ~Karl Marx

****************

Btw: I've now become an ardent fan of Martin H. Fischer !! :D

Have-A-Happy-Period. ;D ;D

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

**IT HAS BEEN COPY-PASTED WORD BY WORD **

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for
over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the
LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback
riding or salsa dancing, and I 'd certainly steer clear of running up
and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your
revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company
smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now,
my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying, jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize
it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.
Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive
backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you fu*ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?
FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Asprin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending
bullsh*t.

And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,

Wendi Aarons

Austin , TX

**********************

PS:This applies to the context of another company marketing sanitary pads in India, with the same tag-line *ring a bell, yet??* :D :D

BTW: Here's the link to the blog:

http://allscrubbedup.blogspot.com/2008/03/have-happy-period.html

Cheers!

My Verry Happy Birthday.... :)

My birthday this year was something special &kind of a brain racking experience… with a whole trail of clues laid down for me to crack, to find my gifts of course!! These guys.. (ref: D,Ank,Avi,Atul,Navy,Ravi,Kaushik,Ritz,Sattu & Saurabh…).. had a full day treasure hunt planned out for me!
Well, I’d been itching to narrate the story to Shruti or one of the others, when y’day Shruti pointed out that I could put it up on the blog. Bright idea!! & here I am writing an account of the day…

So, after the midnight party on the terrace, we all were in my room, when my series of surprises began! There was this ABSOLUTELY YUMMY pudding, thanks to chef Divya et al.

Then there was also this nice card with my Piscean qualities.. :) While we were talking and all, Ritz asked me to turn on bluetooth on my cell. I complied, thinking she must be sending in some sort of birthday graphic. As the message transfer ended, Ritu announced that the job was done, & if anyone wanted to give any instructions, they could do so. Okay. Now I was confused.. what was going on?? As, I saw the message, I realized it was some sort of a riddle that I had to solve, coz it was a music clip titled

"Clue 1":
As I listened to the song, I was told that this was a clue to find my first gift.. & I had to find it before the song ended!!! It took me some time to grasp what was going on, but as I listened to the song, it dawned on me! I ran to %@^$#!% ‘s room..!! & voila, there it was a b’ful rose lying on the bed!! But there was a catch… the next clue was lying next to it!

Clue #2:

This one was a riddle (ala HP).. Here’s how it went :
“Arjun ne dekhi the macchli ki aankh,
Tujhe dekhna hai mendak ka dil..”

Well, sounds tacky…doesn’t it?? But it’s a very well framed riddle…. There were a million things that I could think of, which were frog shaped… a key chain, a soft toy… But then, it struk me… OUR COLLEGE!!! Of course, our colg is shaped like a frog ("mendhak ka dil", indeed)!!! I put up the suggestion to the others, but then..no one was in the mood to help me out!! They were enjoying this! Navy even tried to confuse me with her stupid ideas! But then Ank helped out by telling me to go to sleep & think abt it the next morning…
So the next day, we had to run to class..coz we were very late! So I had no time to think over the clue. But when the class ended, I found a gift in the college corridor!! Yay!! I was right!! But the next clue was missing…

As we went outside, Ritz again started sending something in… This time it was damn simple!!!!!!!

Clue#3: was the song, “tere sang, ek simple si coffee bhi…” This was something I could solve in my sleep! I picked up my activa & rushed off to AFJ…. The shop was closed, but there it was.. I could see two scrolls of paper wrapped in ribbons… :)….. Butt… these turned out to be blank sheets!!

Contd:

The APGAR Score

Well, the origin of "Apgar" in Apgar Score had been bugging me for quite some time now.
The ENT book mentions its origin from the name of the doctor who devised it, Dr.Virginia Apgar. While, I somehow had the idea of it being a mnemonic to remember the five components...
So finally I decided to check the net today to find the correct origin... & here's an excerpt from Wikipedia:

"The Apgar score was devised in 1952 by Dr. Virginia Apgar as a simple and repeatable method to quickly and summarily assess the health of newborn children immediately after childbirth.Virginia Apgar was a pediatrician and anesthesiologist who developed the score to ascertain the effects of anaesthetic agents on neonates.
The Apgar score is determined by evaluating the newborn baby on five simple criteria on a scale from zero to two and summing up the five values thus obtained. The resulting Apgar score ranges from zero to 10. The five criteria were used as a mnemonic learning aid."

The Acronym:
Some ten years after the initial publication, the acronym APGAR was coined in the US as a mnemonic learning aid: Appearance (skin color), Pulse (heart rate), Grimace (reflex irritability), Activity (muscle tone), and Respiration. The mnemonic was introduced in 1963 by the pediatrician Dr. Joseph Butterfield.
Another such backformation attempting to make Apgar an acronym is American Pediatric Gross Assessment Record.

The test, however, is named for Dr. Apgar, making Apgar an eponymous backronym. End of discussion!!


Cheers!

The Cookie Thief

This poem by Valerie Cox, is one of my all-time-favourite bits. Read it in "Chicken Soup For The Soul"....
The idea of "Perspective" has been so simply & easily conveyed here, that it manages to make me smile each time I read it.
_______________

A woman was waiting at an airport one night,
With several long hours before her flight.
She hunted for a book in the airport shops.
Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.

She was engrossed in her book but happened to see,
That the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be.
Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag in between,
Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene.

So she munched the cookies and watched the clock,
As the gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock.
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by,
Thinking, "If I wasn't so nice, I would blacken his eye."

With each cookie she took, he took one too,
When only one was left, she wondered what he would do.
With a smile on his face, and a nervous laugh,
He took the last cookie and broke it in half.

He offered her half, as he ate the other,
She snatched it from him and thought... oooh, brother.
This guy has some nerve and he's also rude,
Why he didn't even show any gratitude!

She had never known when she had been so galled,
And sighed with relief when her flight was called.
She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate,
Refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate.

She boarded the plane, and sank in her seat,
Then she sought her book, which was almost complete.
As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise,
There was her bag of cookies, in front of her eyes.

If mine are here, she moaned in despair,
The others were his, and he tried to share.
Too late to apologize, she realized with grief,
That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief.

________________________________:) :)

Confessions Of A Raconteur

Okay... Shruti made a new blog... "A proper one this time.."

Well, this one deserves a special mention in a totally new post:

http://ronspeaketh.blogspot.com/


& somehow, the story which i personally do NOT like so much, turned out to be her first post!!!
Anyhooo... even reading that was so much fun!!!

Am damn sure, even the rest of her posts will be a reader's delight!!

Keep a track of 'em
Cheers!

Whose Blog Is It Anyway

Links to some of blogs that I frequent:

Shruti's "about me's":
http://straight4mthehorsesmouth.blogspot.com/

Shashi's bolg:
http://www.drshashikant.blogspot.com/

Ritz' Blog:
http://thehealershelpmate.blogspot.com/

Saran's Blog:
http://nineteentillidie.blogspot.com/

Medical reviews:
http://mymedicalreviews.co.nr/

Check them out!!

Amul Hits

The ads of the Amul Campaign have been my latest craze, all thanks to this hoarding put-up outside the College. :D

:D :D

Here's the link to the entire series:

http://www.amul.com/hits.html

It has the entire lot, starting from 1976!!!

Kudos to the creative team!!! They're aewsome!!!


Cheers!