Sunday, October 11, 2009

PTSD

The exam I'd been dreading the past few months is over!
Yes. Done with it.
And now I'm scared shit about the results.
So we won't talk about that anymore.

As for my life, well, I've been just relaxing since the past few days. Of course, its difficuilt to have too much fun when all of your friends are studying for one exam or the other. So its been mostly me, watching a lot of movies and just surfing the net. Haven't even started on the TV binge yet.

Which reminds me, why is it that when you have an exam coming up, you make lists of all these wonderful things you'll do once it is over, but as soon as, the beast has passed, you just lose interest!
Before the exam, I had to restrain myself from spending hours reading blogs and articles, but post-exam... ehh...nothing! (In fact today is the first time I returned to even my blog, after four full days of doing nothing. So have a lot of catching up to do here.. esp in terms of reading.)
I had this whole list of things I wanted to watch/read/do planned out, but ...nah..not anymore!
So maybe the things-to-do-post-exam are actually just defence mechanisms to distract me from the scary reality of the upcoming exam and loads of syllabus.

And another thing that I've noticed is that medical students are born to take exams.
We are programmed this way.
We crib, and we crib... starting months before the exam, but the when on the other side, there this feeling of actually being 'too free'. Every now and then I get this jolt in my tummy, reminding me that I've got to study.. and when I realise the fact that no, I really don't have to study at this point of time, I get a weird sense of apprehensiveness over the sheer unnaturality (if that's actually a word!) of the situation.

Ah well, I guess that's what Medicine is all about.

PS: Writing this post, has brought back those shivers over the thoughts of all the questions I got wrong. Sigh. *Do not in any way ask/tell/talk/mention my past exam. You are welcome to talk about yours*

PPS: Apparently I am incapable of writing about anything besides padhai (and cribbing about it!) these days. I'd started off with something else in mind (writing some sort of list maybe), but landed up ranting about the exam. Oh well.

Enough about me.
How have you been the past two months?

Cheers!
Arps

7 comments:

  1. Erm, I couldn't help it notice that you're back but still : How'd your exams go? :P

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  2. haha.... Cribbing abt exams and waiting for results is just being normal.. :P

    I totally agree with the part that the lists we make during exams turns out boring during vacations..!!

    Vacations remind me of Diwali.. happy Diwali btw.. :)

    Cheers..!!
    Arjun

    ReplyDelete
  3. so usmle over???congratulations!!! well now my xams r round the corner....so can only envy u ....neways best of luk wid ther result ....i am sure u will boldly post ur result on orkut status...do lemme noe wen they come ...cheers and godbless!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. :)

    Welcome back ! It's been more than a month and a half since you posted. Didn't know you were busy with exams. But guessed so... :D

    Keep writing. And do all those things you had planned for after the exams before the next exam catches up with you. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. well arps..... just dropped in 2 say hi! m happy 2 see others fretting over exams aswell, some company...always feels good!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Glad you are back.

    In my experience from med school, after a test you only remember the ones you got wrong. And forget all about the vast majority that you got right. And then beat yourself up over it.

    When a friend started med school a few years after I did, I told her that, when you look at EVERYTHING you have to get done, studying and all, there is absolutely no way you will ever get it all done. And somehow, when it's all over and the dust has settled, you did. And you have no idea how.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'd decided that I won't reply to the comments here till I get my results and am in a decent position. Now with the score in hand, I'll thank you guys for staying with me.
    @Anamika: :D yay on the score!!

    @Arjun: hope you had a good Diwali. Mine was nice, just marred a bit with some anxiety.

    @Heena: Results duly posted! :D And btw: with one lot done with, there's another one round the corner.. *it never ends, does it*

    @Shobhit: thanks for staying around for this lazy blogger to write.

    @manjit: good to see you around. I know that you're in the same boat as ma, since a lot of your blog have the insight into exams too :p

    @Doc Grumpy: *reads the name again, faints of shock* wow.. you actually visited my blog.. and commented too!! *arr..shucks..total loss of words*
    Am Honored!!!
    *wow*
    *faints again*

    ReplyDelete

=)

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